Movie

Half Past Dead (2002)

Steven Seagal movies aren’t renowned for being high quality. After an impressive career launch in the early 1990s, the action star faded into direct-to-video obscurity. He insists on ludicrous one-sided fights, though the baddies in this movie get in the occasional hit – possibly because they’re fighting a stunt double. Seagal sometimes makes a decent film, though, and this effort was good enough for a cinema release.

The plot is yet another Die Hard scenario, this time set in a high-security prison. Welcome to New Alcatraz, with San Francisco’s famous “Rock” reopened to house hardened criminals played by rapper actors. The bizarre cast includes Ja Rule as Nick Frazier, Kurupt as the loud-mouthed Twitch, and Tony Plana as a tough Hispanic warden. The theme tune is loud and dumb, much like the movie as a whole.

New Alcatraz’s death row inmates are offered the choice of five execution methods. A dubious policy, and first up is Lester McKenna, a train robber who stole two hundred million dollars’ worth of gold bullion. Only he knows the location and plans to take the secret to his grave. The prize would tempt any criminal, so cue an airborne assault by a commando team dubbed the 49ers.

The good guy is Sasha Petrosevitch (Seagal), an FBI agent working undercover to bring down the crime boss who murdered his wife. After his sting operation went wrong, Sasha nearly died. Given his experience, Lester requests to talk with him before his own final journey. This conveniently puts Sasha in the right place to screw up the 49ers’ plan.

For a film high on testosterone, many tough women feature. The authority figure on the outside is Agent Ellen Williams (Claudia Christian), and the 49ers’ main bargaining chip is Judge Jane McPherson (Linda Thorson). In a potential hint at a futuristic setting, the priest overseeing Lester’s execution is also female. Being a woman of God doesn’t save her from the main villain, 49er One (Morris Chestnut), who’s intent on acquiring the buried treasure at any cost.

Villainess

49er Six (Nia Peeples)

The henchwoman’s number is a misnomer, since Six is second in command and the key operative for dealing with tricky situations. She’s the first villain to show her face after the commandos parachute onto New Alcatraz. Before removing her helmet, she clears out a guard tower with an assault rifle and performs an acrobatic leap – all to pumping background music. How’s that for an introduction?

Six spearheads the attack, descending on a rope to eliminate a guard with a thigh neck snap while she sprays a second man with bullets. Nobody could ever accuse her of being window dressing, though she looks stylish with her blue eyeshadow and long black cloak. The male prison population appreciates her entrance, though one steely look is enough to make them retreat into their cells.

Seagal hardly ever fights women (one of his “rules”), so his first encounter with Six is at arm’s length through a closed door. Sasha spins her weapon around, but that’s the only physical interaction. The closest we get to a fight is a later meeting that involves a snappy dialogue exchange and a dramatic rope-swinging escape down a stairwell.

Nick – not restricted by chivalry – has a far lengthier encounter in the basement. He has the villainess at gunpoint, but can’t resist her ironic suggestion to “do this like men”. A fight follows, though it’s more accurate to call it an ass-whooping by the woman in black. Fortunately for Nick, Sasha arrives to save him.

After a helicopter crash messes up the 49ers’ escape plans, the villains switch to Plan B. That involves ransoming the judge for Lester (who’s been rescued in a dramatic raid). The prison cells are opened, and there’s a lot of shooting in the chaos that ensues. Six acts the tough girl quite a bit. She headbutts the warden, gives tense warning stares to the prisoners, and threatens the captive judge. The villainess also stands in for her boss when negotiating with the FBI.

The inmates arm themselves for an expected fight, which leads to a captive exchange in the cell block area. Naturally, the villains double-cross and switch out the judge for a female hostage, but the heroes have a plan of their own and armed felons for backup. Lester sacrifices himself and blows up the escape chopper, taking the big bad with him.

As for Six, she ends up on the receiving end of a beating by the warden. Rather than surrender, she tries to stab him, but Ellen and the FBI response team gun her down.

Honourable Mentions: Steven Seagal Movies

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995) – Fatima (Afifi)

The sequel sees Seagal return as ex-Navy SEAL Casey Ryback for this Die Hard on a train adventure. Morris Chestnut (the villain from Half Past Dead) stars as a wimpy porter named Bobby, and he has the honour of dispatching the film’s sole villainess. Before that, he receives a martial arts lesson from Ryback’s niece, but he soon has bigger things to worry about when armed mercenaries raid the train.

The evil scheme involves a far-fetched earthquake-producing satellite, and it’s hard to care given the uninspired action and mediocre villains. The female foe’s limited screen time mostly comprises standing in the background, and she disappears for whole stretches of the movie. Her most impressive contributions are torturing two military officers for passcodes – with an eye-melting needle she’s disappointed not to use – and wounding Ryback with a sniper rifle.

Drawing blood from a Seagal character (a rare feat) earns the villainess a mention. But it’s Bobby who throws Fatima from a helicopter after a brief fight. The niece will be happy he put her earlier training to good use.

Maximum Conviction (2012) – Charlotte (Aliyah O’Brien)

Another Seagal film set in a prison, a low-tech black site that houses two important female prisoners. One is CIA courier Samantha (Steph Song) who has no combat training despite her dangerous profession. The second woman is Charlotte, a much tougher CIA operative in league with the villains. The bad guys are after a microchip surgically implanted in Samantha’s body, but this plot device is given no explanation or thought. Really, it’s just an excuse for gunfire and fistfights.

Michael Paré is the lead villain, and Seagal has another B-movie actor – Steve Austin – for backup. The males do the fighting early on, and the women don’t play major roles until the second half. Then Charlotte comes into her own and introduces herself to Austin’s character by beating him up. She also kidnaps Samantha and takes down a misogynistic heavyweight prisoner. This is a lady who likes to flex her muscles, and she isn’t sidelined like most Seagal villainesses.

Ultimately, everyone gets into a shootout in the big finale. Disappointingly, it’s Samantha who defeats Charlotte and not a main protagonist. It seems the courier can fire a handgun, at least.