Movie

Der Clown: Payday (2005)

A continuation of the German television series of the same name, about a clown-masked vigilante taking on criminals above the law. Admittedly, I’m not familiar with the original material, but newcomers will appreciate the abridged intro outlining the key players. The native German audio is far superior to the English dub, but even basic language skills suffice since the film is an all-action affair.

After his former girlfriend and partner was killed by hockey-masked thieves, Max Hecker (aka the Clown) gave up his crusade and became a mall security guard. This is not purely remorse, as Max spies on the hiding spot where the big bad stashed stolen documents. Should the villain ever return, the Clown has his old mask and a small arsenal of weapons ready to exact vengeance.

The robbers turn the tables early and inform a reporter about an upcoming heist. This leads to the first of many action sequences, where we’re introduced to the villainess Mona. The masked female has a prominent role, gunning down police officers as her crew raids an armoured truck. The gang leader is a guy named Zorbek, but Mona is evidently his number two. Their true target is not the van, but the reporter lady, who’s the sister of the murdered woman the Clown wishes to avenge.

So begins a deadly game of cat and mouse, centred around a daring plot to steal gold bullion from a reserve vault. The pace rarely drops, which is good because this is not a movie to overthink. There are many ludicrous situations where suspension of disbelief is required. Perhaps having the hero wear a clown mask is a hint not to take things that seriously.

Villainess

Mona (Xenia Seeberg)

The villainess carries out the opening robbery wearing a hockey mask with narrow eye slits. It’s a great unisex all-black outfit, and if Mona weren’t shown masking up, it could have been a pleasant surprise female reveal. She’s a bloodthirsty lunatic and happily drops a grenade into heavy traffic to cause a massive Autobahn pileup. The effects team goes overboard, and police cars fly at all angles through dense smoke.

When things settle down – just a little – Mona shows a romantic interest in a fellow robber, a hunk who should know better than to mess with Zorbek’s lieutenant. The action is relentless and becomes even more intense when the heroes assault the villain’s base. They’re holed up in a swimming pool / leisure centre, an excuse to have a vehicle crash through the window and make a loud splash.

Xenia Seeberg also played a villainess in the action comedy Schwarz & McMurphy (2001) (also known as Die Großstadt-Sheriffs). Another tough henchwoman, but I’ve only seen clips and not the entire film, which is notoriously hard to find. Thankfully, we have Der Clown to make up for that loss.

Mona wears a black leather jacket, impractical high heels, and a short skirt. Her weapon of choice is an automatic rifle, which she loves to fire at every opportunity. And there are lots of opportunities, notably when she and Zorbek return to the mall to recover the documents. In a deadly game of hide and seek, Mona patrols the concourse and taunts the masked hero. And plenty of glass breaks in the crossfire that follows.

The stolen plans are essential to Zorbek’s scheme. The gold reserve’s access point is underwater and requires the villains to breach a dam with explosives. Despite the onsite military personnel, the thieves gain access with ease. It’s a shame that Mona doesn’t wear scuba gear, though. Mona is a woman who loves gold, perhaps too much from the way she runs her gloved hand over the stacked ingots. Think there’s a betrayal coming?

Time for more action set pieces. First up is a highway chase with the reporter woman strapped to a truck grille. The Clown pulls off a daring high-speed rescue with the help of his helicopter pilot assistant. Zorbek and Mona get frustrated with the vigilante hero, as he effortlessly dodges gunfire and explosions that would kill any normal person.

The finale takes place at an airfield as the villains attempt to escape on a gold-laden cargo plane. Actually, Mona and her lover robber decide to abandon Zorbek, but the guy should know better than to trust a woman in black leather. The fool gets a fatal lesson when Mona guns him down to claim his share of the loot.

There’s a long chase with Mona in the aircraft cockpit, laughing crazily as she orders the pilot to ram the reporter’s car. The villainess outlasts Zorbek, who’s seen off when the clown throws him from a helicopter. Just when Mona thinks she’s escaped, the hero dumps a stack of gold ingots onto the cargo plane. This triggers a fuel explosion, and the occupants are engulfed in flames.

Honourable Mentions: Treacherous Robbers

Wedlock (1991) – Noelle (Joan Chen)

Vaguely set “sometime in the future”, this sci-fi thriller moves at a snippy pace and offers an over the top, psychotic backstabber of a villainess. Frank Warren (Rutger Hauer) is an electronics expert betrayed by his partners, Sam and Noelle, after a diamond heist. Unfortunately for them, Frank stashes the loot beforehand and is transferred to a low-security unisex prison. No guards are needed because the inmates are fitted with Wedlock collars, which explode when separated from their partner by more than a hundred yards.

The early portion plays out like a typical prison thriller, and Frank falls foul of the local thugs. Scheming Warden Holliday wants the diamonds and puts Frank in solitary when he doesn’t co-operate. In this place, that means sensory deprivation in a sealed tank, but the anti-hero is a tough nut to crack. Not one to give up, Holliday allies with Sam and Noelle and hires Frank’s Wedlock partner Tracy (Mimi Rogers) to stage a dramatic getaway.

As expected, the central gimmick comes into play. Frank and Tracy have many near misses where they end up separated, but return within the distance limit just in time. Sam and Noelle assist the escapees, hoping Frank will lead them to the loot. The villains corner the fugitives in a brewery and eliminate Frank’s friend to remind us they’re dangerous psychos. Noelle shoots the wounded Sam purely for thrills and a greater share of the take.

Being an electronics whiz, Frank defuses the collars before the finale. Which is handy because Holliday has a remote detonator to blow them up whenever he chooses. Instead, it’s the warden and Noelle who fall victim to their own treachery since Frank plants the bombs on them instead.

Reindeer Games (2000) – Ashley / Millie (Charlize Theron)

A Christmas heist thriller with far too many plot twists, Reindeer Games starts off intriguing but becomes a mess by the climax. On the upside, Charlize Theron stars in an early villain role, and playing a cold-hearted bitch is her forte.

Convicted felon Rudy (Ben Affleck) and his cellmate Nick are two days from release when Nick is stabbed during a prison riot. Against his better judgement, Rudy assumes Nick’s identity and gets romantically involved with the dead man’s pen pal, Ashley. A bad idea, because Ashley’s brother Gabriel (Gary Sinise) shows up and forces Rudy to assist with a casino heist. The dangerous psychos want “Nick” to provide insider knowledge, so the impersonator must improvise to keep himself alive.

Ashley seems to be a timid and vulnerable woman, but this is all an act, and she reveals herself to be Gabriel’s girlfriend and not his sibling. The heist – when it finally happens – is a complete disaster. The Santa-suited crew are amateurs who’ve never committed a robbery, the inside info is bogus, and the body count high. Ashley arrives after things get messy, now in full-on villainess mode. She’s an equal partner to Gabriel, who gives the gang orders and is just as psychotic.

It’s then revealed that Nick faked his death and orchestrated the whole thing. His master plan: go to prison for two years, set up an unknown felon with Millie, and hope his patsy remembers their late-night chats about casino security. Why not forgo the prison sentence and hire a professional heist team? Because we need a final act twist, and it doesn’t matter how ludicrous it is.

Charlize Theron has some decent moments to make this tosh bearable, such as shooting Gabriel in cold blood. There’s also a satisfying demise where Rudy hot-wires a car and rams the treacherous Millie off a cliff.