sean connery – Action Girl Books

*Resisting the charm of Connery’s Bond is quite a feat – well done, Fiona*

Movie

Thunderball (1965)

James Bond movies have a winning formula: action, romance, and humour. Over the decades these films have delivered, except for the occasional misfire. Every iconic hero needs worthy adversaries, however, and there have been many standouts in the series. Including females.

If I ranked my favourite female villains, there could easily be half a dozen entries from the Bond franchise. Since I’m aiming for balance, I’ve chosen four “headliners” and will cover the other films as honourable mentions and discussions. Fiona Volpe is my lowest-ranked pick, and this review also summarises the Sean Connery Bond films and George Lazenby’s solo outing.

The plot of Thunderball is generic, involving the theft of nuclear weapons by a criminal organisation and a ransom demand. Main bad guy, Blofeld, holds conferences with electric chairs in case his underlings should fail or betray him. These plot elements will be familiar to anyone who’s seen Austin Powers, where the tropes were spoofed. Bond stumbles across the fiendish plan by accident whilst recuperating at a clinic, and embarks on a mission to save the world. That scenario seems to recur a lot.

The movie is infamous for ambitious and overlong underwater sequences. With the slowdown, this is a poor setting for action set pieces. The last act – a battle between henchmen in black scuba gear and the goodies in orange – is a boring drag. Thankfully, the villainess’ scenes all take place on dry land.

Villainess

Fiona Volpe (Luciana Paluzzi)

While the main villains are faceless Blofeld and Largo (Adolfo Celi), Fiona is almost his equal with a major role in Spectre’s evil scheme. In an early scene with an accomplice who’s too greedy for his own good, she comes across as a no-nonsense authority figure. This is moments after she plays the femme fatale with an airman she lures into a deadly trap.

Fiona’s talents extend to assassination when Blofeld orders a man killed as punishment for failure. Fiona does the deed in style, intervening as her quarry pursues Bond’s Aston Martin DB5. Not to be outdone, the female killer has her own gadget vehicle: a motorcycle fitted with rocket launchers. Those make quick work of her target. Not long afterwards, there’s a decent reveal where the helmeted biker is revealed as Fiona. But it was almost certainly a stunt double for “her” earlier scenes.

Fiona and Bond don’t meet until the halfway point, when she picks the stranded agent up and gives him a high-speed ride. The villainess is daring in this sequence, openly displaying her Spectre ring. Later on, she seduces Bond and brags she’s immune to his charms. And unlike Pussy Galore in Goldfinger, there’s no final act shift of allegiance this time around. Fiona even makes the point in a defiant speech.

After Bond escapes Largo’s henchmen, the final encounter takes place in a bar during Mardi Gras. Bond hides by dancing with a female patron, but Fiona soon takes the woman’s place. She intends it to be his last fling and has a concealed henchman ready to shoot Bond in the back. However, the hero expects this move and pivots Fiona around at the last instant, so it’s her shot instead. Cold-blooded execution of female villains would come much later in the series, but we’re still treated to a one-liner.

Honourable Mentions / Discussion: Sean Connery / George Lazenby Bond Movies

Dr. No (1962) – Photographer (Marguerite LeWars), Miss Taro (Zena Marshall)

The first official Bond movie set the tone for those that followed. Dastardly villains operate from elaborate lairs, and women are beautiful, seductive, and frequently dangerous. The weakest of Connery’s films from a villainess perspective, but there are two female foes worth a mention.

Marguerite LeWars has the honour of playing the first-ever Bond villainess, though the photographer is never named. A freelancer working for a mysterious enemy, this woman shows her evil side by licking a lightbulb after snapping shots of Bond in Kingston, Jamaica. When caught, the photographer refuses to talk, even when Bond’s allies threaten to break her arm. She even smashes a lightbulb in her questioner’s face, drawing blood. Tough cookie, this one.

Miss Taro is a more traditional femme fatale, relying on her sexy voice to deceive the spy. That might have been more effective if he hadn’t caught her eavesdropping. Still, Bond never turns down an opportunity to bed a beautiful woman, even one with dark intentions. Of course, the hero merely bides his time – and enjoys himself – until the authorities arrive.

From Russia with Love (1963) – Rosa Klebb (Lotte Lenya)

The second film has the series’ first major villainess, even if she answers to Blofeld. The notorious man with the white cat is still faceless at this point, leaving Klebb and henchman Red Grant to do Spectre’s dirty work.

Klebb lost out to Fiona Volpe when I selected my pick from the early Bonds, but she makes a sinister spy. Her character is manipulative and controlling, especially with Bond girl Tatiana Romanova. Though prominent early in the movie, Klebb vanishes for the middle act, only to return and stab a fellow operative with a poisoned blade concealed in her shoe.

Her attempt to kill Bond doesn’t go so well, resulting in a poorly staged fight. After Tatiana shoots the villainess, Bond utters a darkly humourous one-liner, a trait that would continue throughout the series.

Goldfinger (1964)

The first truly extravagant movie in the franchise, there are many iconic elements, notably a charismatic title villain and his henchman Oddjob (don’t forget the killer hat). There’s also an epic finale at Fort Knox, where an all-female pilot squadron takes out tens of thousands of US troops with nerve gas.

Other minor villainesses include a treacherous beauty in the pre-credits sequence and an old lady guarding a checkpoint (who’s handy with a machine gun). A female sniper makes an appearance and takes a potshot at Bond. She’s after Goldfinger, but misses by some distance, only to meet her end shortly afterward.

The main female character is Pussy Galore, the villain’s personal pilot. A damn good one (in her words) and a judo expert. Bond still overpowers the feisty woman, seduces her, and converts her to the cause of good. So she exchanges the deadly nerve gas for a harmless alternative, and Goldfinger – while a classic movie – is not the best from a villainess perspective.

You Only Live Twice (1967) – Helga Brandt (Karin Dor)

This movie takes Bond to Japan, but he displays the same weakness towards women. Almost getting killed by a Chinese agent in the pre-title sequence doesn’t dampen his enthusiasm for Oriental females. In fairness, the “assassination” was staged to fake Bond’s death.

Blofeld returns, this time played by Donald Pleasance. The minor villains include businessman Osato and Spectre number eleven, Helga Brandt. After the henchwoman seduces Bond in a cabin, she traps him in a crashing aircraft and bails out mid-flight. Any 007 fan will know that elaborate attempts will fail, and what that means for Spectre operatives. Here, Blofeld feeds Helga to his piranha fish.

A gruesome death to frighten Osato (not that he succeeds either), followed by a ninja commando raid in a spectacular volcano lair. Some good girl action, but no female villains, unfortunately.

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969) – Irma Bunt (Ilse Steppat)

George Lazenby starred as James Bond for the first and only time in a movie most famous for its tragic finale. Telly Savalas is Blofeld, with Irma as his main henchwoman. This lady comes across as a strict, bossy type and wouldn’t look out of place as a school headmistress. Many of her scenes take place in a Swiss Alpine clinic where Bond frolics with female patients, arguably the weakest part of the movie.

After a slow buildup, things kick into gear about halfway through with some great action sequences on the snowy slopes. For the descent, Blofeld leads the pursuit, but Irma takes over with a secondary team after Bond reaches the presumed safety of a village. Don’t be so naïve, 007 – it’s never that easy to escape.

Irma is overshadowed by Diana Rigg as the ill-fated Teresa Bond. The hero’s fling blossoms into genuine romance, and the lovers tie the proverbial knot. Most aficionados know how this story ends – with an injured Blofeld and Irma tracking the couple down. Since the main bad guy is injured, the henchwoman fires the fatal shot, a single wicked act that makes her a notable villainess in the franchise.

Diamonds Are Forever (1971) – Bambi (Lola Larson), Thumper (Trina Parks)

After the downer ending to Lazenby’s brief tenure, Bond entered the 1970s with this campy entry. Charles Gray is a much softer Blofeld with hair. He’s obsessed with world domination, and so scared of Bond’s vendetta that he’s got multiple doubles. Tiffany Case is among the weaker Bond girls, reduced to little more than a bimbo by the time the credits roll.

Diamonds Are Forever is best remembered for its secondary villains. There’s a great elevator fight between Bond and a smuggler, and a humorous pair of hitmen in Wint and Kidd. They have a thing for trading one-liners after they kill someone.

For villainess fans, two physical bodyguards in Bambi and Thumper, and like everything else in this movie, their scenes ooze camp. This is Bond’s first proper fight with female opponents, but the ending is weak. The two women dunk Bond in their swimming pool, only to be easily overpowered moments later.

Never Say Never Again (1983) – Fatima Blush (Barbara Carrera)

Sean Connery returned for this unofficial remake of Thunderball. He shouldn’t have, because the updated version is inferior in almost every respect. The characters are unimpressive, with no official series actors present. Edward Fox is a comical version of M who’s dreadfully out of place, Max Von Sydow is a lacklustre Blofeld, and Rowan Atkinson has a terrible cameo as a hapless diplomat.

For the villainess, we have Barbara Carrera as the poor woman’s Fiona Volpe. Her first assassination – throwing a snake into a man’s car – is a pale imitation of the biker/rocket original. Carrera overacts in nearly every scene, giggling whilst wearing increasingly ridiculous outfits. She fails multiple times to kill Bond, using truly bizarre methods (remote controlled sharks, anyone?). In the end, Bond defeats her with an exploding pen with about forty-five minutes to go. Normally, such a premature exit would be disappointing, but it’s a relief here.

*A daring $40 million heist – and that’s not even the big one*

Movie

Entrapment (1999)

One of many late 1990s films to use the “Millennium Bug” as a plot device, this is a slick heist thriller with great performances from the two leads. Entrapment is notable for being one of Sean Connery’s last film roles. His only major features after this were Finding Forrester and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Plus, there’s that bendy laser-dodging sequence with Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Oddly, the infamous set piece – the theft of a gold mask as a payoff for an even bigger score – occurs at the film’s midpoint rather than the climax. The action-packed climax is set in Kuala Lumpur on New Year’s Eve. The target? A whopping $8 billion from a banking terminal in the iconic Petronas Towers.

For the benefit of younger readers, the Millennium Bug was a computer flaw where date years were stored as two digits. This would have caused issues come 2000 with 00 interpreted as 1900. In the end, the glitch was resolved with no major consequences, so the panic seems silly in hindsight.

Entrapment has one of the cleverest film usages: an integrity test of electronic banking systems. A plausible occurrence in real life, although they probably didn’t run them at the last second.

Villainess

Gin (Catherine Zeta-Jones)

Virginia Baker (Gin for short) is an insurance investigator from New York. She’s after aging professional thief Robert “Mac” MacDougal (Connery). He’s suspected of stealing a Rembrandt, a daring office skyscraper heist that involved a remote controlled winch, and Gin is determined to get her man.

The Thomas Crown Affair setup is inverted when Gin reveals she stole the painting and needs Mac’s help for a job. He’s not impressed, which might have something to do with her overconfident ego. She has a habit of declaring an outcome “perfect” being messing up. Gin wastes no time in using her feminine charms on the much older Mac. He admires her form during a training montage scene, as she bends sexily between ropes substituting for lasers.

Many film critics criticised the “implausible” romantic relationship. But it’s about Gin’s thieving ability (Mac sees his younger self in her), and not simply her beauty. The old-timer desires to return to daredevil heists, and the initial deceptive flirting develops into genuine affection.

After Gin dodges lasers for real and steals the golden mask from Bedford Palace, things get tense when Mac accuses her of setting him up. Until she lets him in on her grand plan. Suspense builds well, with various side characters up to no good (notably Gin’s boss and a shadowy acquaintance of Mac’s).

The Malaysian heist is disappointing at first. The thieves crack a high-security vault that requires less effort than stealing the mask (or even the Rembrandt). But then Gin says “perfect” – just before she triggers a system integrity alarm. A dramatic escape follows, with the thieves swinging from lights under the sky bridge and sprinting through tear gas.

Gin and Mac separate and promise to meet at a train station. It’s then that the old man reveals he’s been playing her all this time, though he reconsiders and helps her escape. After they outwit the authorities, the lovers embrace in a surprisingly moving moment.

Honourable Mentions: Cat Burglars

B.L. Stryker: Grand Theft Hotel (1990) – Dawn St. Claire (Loni Anderson)

This is technically an episode of the B.L. Stryker TV series, with Burt Reynolds in the title role. But since the runtime is ninety minutes, and this aired as a TV movie in the UK, it meets the inclusion criteria.

Buddy Lee is after a cat burglar with a penchant for stun guns and dramatic helicopter escapes. No surprise the masked thief ends up being female (don’t they always?), but her all-black outfit is impressive. Loni Anderson’s role as beautiful socialite Dawn St. Claire seems superfluous, so most viewers will peg her as the villain. For the middle act, she’s demoted to the sidelines while Stryker pursues other leads.

Unfortunately, we don’t get an unmasking reveal, or another robbery with Dawn in her masked outfit. A black-clad thief shoots a guard, but that’s a male copycat. The final heist takes the whole movie to happen, and then Dawn shows up unmasked to steal a jewelled necklace. She triggers the fire alarm to evacuate the hotel, but what self-respecting cat burglar would risk showing her face?

Return of the Pink Panther (1975) – Lady Claudine Litton (Catherine Schell)

Also, the return of Peter Sellers as Inspector Clouseau after a long break (his last movie was A Shot in the Dark way back in 1964). The infamous pink diamond is the target of a dramatic heist following the cartoony credits. In an impressive – and inventive – robbery scene for the era, a black-clad thief uses a crossbow, rope and lubricant to evade laser beams and guards.

The prime suspect is Charles Litton, aka The Phantom, with Christopher Plummer taking on the David Niven role from The Pink Panther (1963). Most scenes are played for laughs (this is a comedy, after all). Subplots include Clouseau’s boss Dreyfus descending into homicidal mania and the innocent Charles trying to figure out who set him up.

His wife stole the jewel, though a male stunt double was probably used to film the thief’s zipline getaway. The scheming Claudine has several encounters with the clueless detective and can’t contain her laughter, but her post-reveal role isn’t that memorable.

The Real McCoy (1993) – Karen McCoy (Kim Basinger)

Yet another example where the thief is masked at the beginning and never again. That’s four examples on this page alone (yes, it happens in Entrapment with the Rembrandt theft). Some advice for filmmakers: cat burglars are supposed to wear masks during robberies.

The Real McCoy has a villainess protagonist, though Karen is arguably an anti-heroine as she’s coerced into planning a heist by a crime boss. When threatening her doesn’t work, the bad guy takes her son hostage as leverage. So Karen teams up with an inept thief (Val Kilmer) to turn the tables.

Basinger plays the mother/criminal mix well, and there’s plenty of minor heist action before the big vault raid. Karen breaks into the villain’s mansion to rescue her son, but seasoned viewers won’t expect her to succeed. Lack of tension is a recurring problem, even with the bank heist finale. Nothing goes wrong, and Karen outsmarts the villains too easily.