Movie

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

A few villainesses covered so far have notable finales in their respective movies, but dull lead-ins. The Rise of Cobra has the opposite problem: a strong opening that establishes the Baroness as a powerhouse to be reckoned with, but a weak conclusion where she switches sides.

The overall tone is a blend of flashy action and science fiction, bordering on fantasy. An arms manufacturer develops a nanobot warhead that eats through metal (and produces evil green smoke as a byproduct). Just the weapon any terrorist would want in their arsenal, so the evil organisation Cobra sends in a commando team led by a brunette in black leather.

The movie essentially serves as an origin story, with a lot of time spent introducing various characters and their backstories. Macho military man Duke once knew the villainess as the blonde Ana. Naturally, these two have a tragic romantic history, and were engaged until her brother was killed on a mission Duke led. And now she hates his guts.

Thankfully, an elite unit known as the G.I. Joes arrives to save Duke’s ass. These guys (and one gal called Scarlet) wear high-tech armour and carry futuristic weapons, and want Duke to join them. He accepts the offer and learns Ana is now an elite Cobra operative known as the Baroness. One of many codenames in this enjoyable, over the top adventure.

Villainess

Ana / Baroness (Sienna Miller)

The Baroness as a physical badass, and the forest encounter is only the first of her skirmishes with the good guys. Whether dual-wielding sonic pistols or kickboxing in her stylish leather outfit, this woman is more than a match for Duke and his crew.

A key figure in the Cobra hierarchy, the villains entrust her with their most important missions. When she leads an infiltration team into the Joes’ base, she takes on Scarlet in a surprisingly intelligent and well-staged fight. Even with optical camouflage, the heroine loses to a combination of wits and martial arts. Despite Duke’s best efforts, the Baroness escapes with the warheads. This round goes to Cobra.

The villainess has a double life as a lavishly dressed noblewoman (hence her title) and devoted wife of a scientist. This is a ruse to gain access to his laboratory, and the operative proves a mistress of deception. Once hubby has activated the warheads, he’s of no further value to Cobra, so they eliminate him. Never trust a beautiful woman in black.

The standout action set piece is a chase through Paris, where Duke and his partner pursue a vehicle on foot. That’s made possible by “jumping” suits that enhance their athletic ability, leading to an entertaining if silly sequence with car crashes and explosions. Females don’t get sidelined in modern action movies, so it’s no surprise Scarlet rides a motorcycle through Parisian landmarks. Think you’re a badass? The Baroness controls missiles and an EMP gun!

Duke chases his ex to a rooftop extraction point while she fires an automatic rifle (and smashes every glass window in sight). That gives Storm Shadow (the evil ninja in white) the opportunity to launch a nanobot warhead at the Eiffel Tower. It’s a race to recover the disarming device from the Baroness as the famous landmark collapses. Then the triumphant villainess gloats with Duke now Cobra’s prisoner.

If things had continued on this trajectory, the Baroness would have made the top 40 legendary tier. But Ana discovers she was manipulated by her brother (still alive and now the evil Cobra Commander), and breaks free of his supposedly infallible mind control. How Ana does this is never explained, since she still believes her brother is dead and has no incentive to rekindle her romance with Duke.

After all the buildup and villainy, Ana turns good. When the heroes locate Cobra’s underwater hideout and launch an assault, the redeemed villainess co-pilots a minisub and fires torpedoes, but we’d rather watch her fight for an evil cause. In the closing scene, Duke visits the imprisoned Baroness and promises not to give up on her. Sienna Miller quit the franchise after this, but for seventy percent of Rise of Cobra, we had a fantastic villainess.

Discussions: G.I. Joe

G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)

Producers decided on a soft reboot for the sequel, and almost none of the original cast returned. The Baroness is a notable absentee in Cobra’s ranks, and Duke dies in the first act. Many characters in the first film wore full-face masks or had ambiguous fates. Convenient – one suspects the franchise was already in the contingency planning stage, with the option to recast expensive actors or change narrative direction.

If the French had it rough in Rise of Cobra, London suffers worse in Retaliation when the entire city is destroyed. The villains (and American filmmakers) don’t like Europeans much, eh? Amidst all the carnage and fresh faces, a red-garbed ninja named Jinx is the replacement tough girl for Scarlet, and her evil female martial artist counterpart poses no real threat. They dropped the awesome leather-clad villainess for this?

Snake Eyes (2021)

The good news is that the Baroness returns for this origin story reboot. Bad news? We see very little of Úrsula Corberó, as the primary focus is the title character and his backstory. An interesting plot angle has Snake Eyes starting off as a villain and Storm Shadow the more heroic adversary until a late role reversal.

Before the expected development, Snake infiltrates a ninja clan, who test him with three trials. The most ludicrous is a pit full of CGI giant anacondas, psychic creatures that can sense a person’s purity. Cobra are reduced to minor antagonists, and while the Baroness looks evil in her black leather outfit and high heels, she’s barely involved.

There’s an annoyingly brief confrontation with Scarlett (Samara Weaving), then the Baroness forms a temporary alliance with the heroes. Until things get too dangerous, and the villainess (can we even call her one?) bails. Truly pathetic stuff.