Movie

Final Contract: Death on Delivery (2006)

This fast-paced action flick is a throwback to the days of real stunts, unlikely heroes, and tough women with ponytails dressed in black. The villainess Lorca answers to a sleazy criminal paymaster, but be in no doubt. The primary threat (and selling point) is the ruthless assassin with the crossbow. Too bad the police finger an innocent patsy and spend the movie chasing him.

David (Drew Fuller) is an American motorcycle courier working for his uncle in Berlin, and he has a blossoming romance with fellow employee Jenny (Tanja Wenzel). David has teenage love issues and a few speeding tickets, but nothing serious. That changes when a beautiful woman jumps into his car.

The brunette claims to be a cop hunting a contract killer who’s just murdered a key witness. Bad guys are after her, leading to the first of many chase scenes where David shows off his driving skills. The passenger Lara is handy with a sidearm, and after a high-speed shootout – and traffic chaos – she shows her appreciation with a kiss.

David realises Lara has left her bag behind, so he follows her into a hotel. She warns him that the lobby is under surveillance, so David agrees to check in at reception and enquire about a contact. Lara later joins David in the room, now scantily dressed and in full-on seduction mode. The young man lets his guard down and stands up Jenny (something she’s clearly not happy about) in favour of Lara. Pity it’s a setup and the woman David spent the evening with is actually Lorca. That would be the assassin who murdered a second witness while he slept.

David wakes up to find the hotel swarming with police. Hillman (Ken Bones) is the man in charge and has a personal vendetta against the killer. So he’s awfully pleased when his response team corners David on the roof and takes the “assassin” into custody. The courier’s act of kindness was a trap, since Lorca stowed a crossbow inside to implicate him.

Two dumb cops take a detour and beat up David for crimes he didn’t commit. They’re enjoying their brutality until the real assassin shows up. Now dressed in black leather and looking far more villainous, Lorca executes the two men with a spinning kick and headshots. She contemplates killing David too, but spares his life. Seems the patsy is still important to her plan, if only as a distraction for the cops to chase while she targets the third and final witness.

Villainess

Villainess

With the entire Berlin police force after him, David is a stranger in a foreign land with few allies to call on. His frustrated uncle refuses to help, and Jenny is reluctant, given recent events. Lorca has vanished, but David has enough problems with the cops. There are multiple car chase scenes and lots of property damage, but David evades the authorities thanks to help from a shady mechanic. Jenny isn’t pleased with the danger she’s now in, and since the romantic tension is over, it’s time for the villainess’ return.

The third witness is well guarded, so Lorca beats up David and kidnaps Jenny to force him to co-operate. The hero has a clever idea to use the vehicle’s GPS tracker, but the villainess expects this, and the trail ends at an abandoned warehouse. Meanwhile, Jenny frees herself by cutting her bonds on a conveniently sharp object. A bold escape attempt, but one that ends quickly after Lorca recaptures her. The crossbow-wielding killer is pissed off with her heroism, so she tortures Jenny with electric shock therapy to show David who’s in charge.

The assassin has David wear special camera glasses, so she can watch everything on her hi-tech monitor screens. She instructs him to attend the courthouse, where she’s already stashed a gun for her patsy. David is out of options and can only watch as a young girl is brought in. The witness is a child, and if David refuses to eliminate her, Lorca will kill Jenny. To make matters worse, Hillman and the police are on site.

The prosecutor questions the girl and asks her to point out the offender. Lorca demands David shoot her and gets increasingly angry. Seeing no response as the witness identifies her client, the villainess grabs her trusty crossbow and threatens to shoot Jenny. After a tense exchange, David – who tracked the villainess using a clue Jenny provided – shoots the assassin. As Lorca struggles to comprehend the turn of events, it’s revealed David’s uncle is wearing the glasses at the courthouse.

Lorca isn’t finished and attacks David while his girlfriend watches in terror. Being a trained assassin, she has the advantage. After receiving a few blows, David takes advantage of a rare opening and throws the villainess over a guardrail. Seeing her plan fall apart, she uses a speedboat to make her getaway. David is determined to prove he’s innocent, and chases after the assassin on a motorcycle.

The final action scene follows, with a police helicopter following David. Snipers attempt to shoot the hero, despite Jenny (who’s now a suspect) doing her best to inform Hillman the woman in black is the assassin. After a lengthy pursuit that includes some narrow escapes, David rides up a ramp and performs an improbable jump to Lorca’s boat.

The villainess fights David and gets the better of her weaker opponent, but then readies her crossbow. That tips off Hillman who the real assassin is, and he finally realises his mistake. Now exonerated, it’s still up to David to best Lorca and send the speedboat crashing onto dry land. This takes the assassin out of the equation, and an apologetic Hillman has Lorca arrested while the heroes kiss and make up.

Honourable Mentions: Crossbows / Assassins

Hard Target 2 (2016) – Sofia (Rhona Mitra)

This sequel to the 1993 movie doesn’t involve Jean-Claude Van Damme or John Woo, but we get the leather-clad villainess Sofia. Yes, Rhona Mitra is another badass female, alongside Scott Adkins as a martial artist seeking redemption and Robert Knepper as a psychotic criminal fond of big speeches. Exactly the casting – or should that be typecasting? – we expect in the direct-to-video action market.

After MMA fighter Wes Baylor accidentally kills his friend and competitor, he winds up on a much less prestigious underground circuit in the Far East. When a sinister man named Aldrich offers Baylor a half-million payday, he accepts the offer. Except the proposed fight in Myanmar never was, and Baylor is the latest player in a sadistic game of hunt and kill. Aldrich’s crew includes generic rough types plus tough girl Sofia, who has a serious chip on her shoulder and loves crossbows.

Standard stuff, so don’t expect any surprises. As the hunting party tracks Baylor through the jungle, he teams up with a local named Tha (Ann Truong). She’s the resourceful type who gets into the occasional fight when Baylor is occupied, but is mainly there so the hero can confess his sins and pray to Buddha. Aldrich gets super annoyed with his target’s survival skills, so he orders out weaponised motorcycles to give the villains an unfair advantage.

One of the best action scenes has Sofia and two thugs chasing Baylor. The other hunters go down easily, leaving Sofia to fire her vehicle’s weapons and corner her prey in a deserted village. Baylor steals a bike of his own and fires a net to dismount the villainess. Not finished yet, she draws two mini crossbows and advances while scenery explodes behind her. After a thankfully brief bad-girl speech, Sofia fights Baylor with a baton and puts up a decent struggle before he sends her flying through a wall.

Baylor does the heroic thing and leaves Sofia alive, and inevitably it’s the two women who confront each other in the final battle. Sofia – armed with a big crossbow now – fights Tha, but prefers to show off her unarmed combat skills. This is a disappointing finale on a rusty old train, with the action interrupted by those cutaway moments directors seem so fond of. For an experienced killer, Sofia is beaten too easily and never looks like winning before she’s impaled on a spike.

Ballistica (2009) – Alexa (C.B. Spenser), Fang (Lauren Mary Kim)

No crossbow this time, just secret agents able to dodge bullets at close range. The title refers to the ludicrous concept of – as the villainess puts it – kung fu with guns. Besides the bizarre fight scenes, there’s a training montage of the hero Damian (Paul Sloan) working out with dual pistols. And a shadowy CIA department, minor female agents as eye candy, and a treacherous blonde who seduces the main character before she reveals her true motives. Derivative stuff.

Several B-movie stars feature. Robert Davi is the agency boss who might be corrupt, Martin Kove is a dependable ally, and Andrew Divoff’s Russian baddie is the chief antagonist for acts one and two. Special effects are atrocious, and the fight scenes are poorly done with no physical contact, but there’s fun to be had if you can forget the laws of reality.

The plot involves a nasty bomb terrorists want to acquire. Lauren Mary Kim – known for stunt work, with the occasional acting role whenever a female Asian badass is required – plays the minor villainess Fang. She’s a nondescript… um, Asian badass who beats up the captured hero and throws a prototype weapon his way. Too bad she forgot to lock the door, and Damian tosses the bomb back. A stupid death scene to end a far too brief role.

Alexa is convincing as an innocent scientist who wants to help. She receives martial arts training, talks with Damian about his tragic past, and even gets to make love in a pool. This seems to be the standard sidekick trajectory until Damian kills his nemesis with half an hour left. Then Alexa reveals herself to be adept at ballistica and wipes out an entire SWAT team with acrobatic gunfire. Damian arrives to discover she has activated the bomb before the villainess puts a bullet in his chest.

Good thing Damian was wearing a pendant – yes, that shot-stopping trick we’ve seen countless times. While politics unfold back at base, Damian chases after Alexa in a car, bringing the bomb along for the ride. There’s a lengthy pursuit through the streets of Los Angeles with green screen backdrops. Then, the villainess crashes, and the confrontation continues on foot.

Alexa gives a speech when cornered by the hero. The usual nonsense about committing a terrorist act to secure funding, then a ballistica duel. Alexa is Damian’s equal in agility and style, but somehow the two elite agents can’t hit a target at arm’s length. Finally, the villainess gets Damian in her sights, but he loads a spare bullet mid-twist and finishes her.