kim cattrall – Action Girl Books

*The exception is this leather-clad villainess surpassing all expectations*

Movie

Exception to the Rule (1997)

The title and one-line plot synopsis – a man blackmailed over diamonds – promise little. But show any villainess fan the opening scene, where a woman in black leather bumps off a South African diamond trader, and the excitement should build. For once, the events that follow don’t disappoint, and this movie is an easy selection for the goddess tier.

The killer’s face is not shown, but the long blonde hair and voice are a giveaway. Carla features prominently on the poster and is played by Kim Cattrall, so no prizes for guessing who the antagonist is. The villainess shoots the trader above the heart to paralyse him, then moves closer for a headshot execution. A killing style that establishes Carla as someone who likes her victims to suffer in their last moments.

Carla doesn’t get the diamonds, as the victim passed them on just before she arrived. So now it’s time to devise a new plan, which involves Tim Bayer (Eric McCormack). He’s an American who’s unhappily married to the pregnant Angela (Sean Young). The woman is also the daughter of Tim’s boss and firm owner Larry Kellerman (William Devane), which is sure to cause friction. Tim has marriage counselling from psychiatrist Dr Beeson and support from his friend Ron Lansing, but neither man is trustworthy.

Carla works her way into Tim’s life by pulling the broken-down vehicle trick, which convinces the good Samaritan to offer the beautiful woman a ride home. Soon after that, she poses naked in her apartment, though we only see rear shots of a body double. Still, the seduction tricks are effective, and Carla visits Tim at the office to tempt him further.

The broker is sent to San Francisco to close a deal with the shady Mr Ferguson, whose next visitor is a black-gloved assassin with a syringe full of snake venom. Her screaming victim takes a fatal plunge from a skyscraper, then Carla “accidentally” encounters Tim in a bookstore. The villainess seduces her mark, leading to wine sipping and passionate sex. Once again there’s a body double, though we see Carla’s face this time around. Getting involved with a femme fatale will only end badly, Tim.

Villainess

Carla Rainer (Kim Cattrall)

Shortly after Tim returns home and spends time with Angela, he receives a videotape of his one-night stand. Carla set up a camera, and when Tim revisits the apartment, it’s the usual story of the blackmailer using a false address. Dr Beeson isn’t much help, so Tim hires Burt Ramsey, a loan shark who moonlights as a private detective. Ron is in debt to Burt – who sends two goons round as an unfriendly reminder – and the gambling problems are a hint that the best friend can’t be trusted.

Time for Carla to up the ante, so she shows up unannounced during an evening out to join Tim, Larry, and Angela. This leads to an awkward conversation where the others don’t know the woman posing as Susan Bradshaw has evil intent. This is all designed to make Tim nervous, and to increase the pressure even more, Carla goes with Angela to the women’s restroom. There, the villainess shows off a heart and snake tattoo on her thigh, and tells Angela that her lover has the other half.

With Tim on edge, Carla meets him at a remote location to make her demands, looking sinister in black leather and dark glasses. She wants Tim to bring her the shipment of diamonds that she’s failed to steal so far and uses the videotape and threats of violence as leverage. Carla fondles Tim’s groin just because she can, while Burt watches from a distance. The villainess spots her tail quickly, and there’s a rather short car chase before she loses him.

Not too happy with Tim hiring a PI, the leather-clad Carla confronts him in a parking garage. They trade threats before the killer warns Tim that she “does the fucking”. A line intended to have a double meaning. Angela is unaware of what’s going on and attends a gallery event with her husband. She works on metal sculptures in her private workshop, and her latest effort is Blind Justice, a statue of a woman with raised hands pressed together. The sculpture appears in several scenes, so it will become important later.

Carla decides the nosy Burt has become a problem, so drives to a cliff edge and exits her car. Being rather stupid – and not considering that the suspect is dressed in black – he joins Carla and questions her while drinking booze. The deranged woman gives an obviously fake story about being in love with Tim, then injects Burt with sea snake venom. While he’s paralysed, the villainess pours alcohol over him, sets his vehicle on fire, and watches with smiling glee as he’s knocked over the cliff by the flaming car. A brilliant death scene, and Carla enjoyed every second.

A detective named Garcia shows up at Tim’s office to question him about Burt’s death. Tim provides a false reason for hiring the PI, but the cop doesn’t buy it. After a run-in with Garcia while visiting Burt’s nightclub, Carla raises the stakes by attempting to run Angela over in broad daylight. This leaves Tim’s wife very shaken, and he contemplates giving the psycho what she wants.

Tim appears to cave in to her demands and meets at yet another secluded spot. After Carla leaves with the diamonds, Tim follows her to a motel and learns she’s involved with Dr Beeson. It’s quickly revealed the stones are fake, so Tim contacted the police and Larry about the scheme and went there wired up. Carla looks like she might kill the doctor, but leaves him alive. A show of mercy? Or maybe she didn’t have her silenced pistol or syringe handy.

Beeson reconsiders and telephones Tim, but is cut off when a masked assailant barges into the hotel. The latest murder victim is a weak opponent, whom the mysterious male attacker drowns in a bathtub. Given the lack of suspects, it’s obvious who Carla’s accomplice is, but it takes several minutes for an official reveal during the finale at Angela’s house.

Tim has moved out, so his wife is alone and easy prey for the villainess. It’s already been established that Angela doesn’t like snakes, while Carla is fond of them. The killer even has a distinctive metal pattern on her gloves. Naturally, the villainess leaves a live snake in the bed as a nasty surprise and interrupts to issue demands when the terrified Angela calls Tim. At gunpoint, the resilient woman grabs a golf club while Carla taunts her and uses it to knock away the gun. Inexplicably, Carla can’t shoot accurately at a fleeing pregnant woman.

Ron, who shows up outside, advises Angela to hide. Once inside, it’s revealed (to no great surprise) that Ron is romantically involved with Carla and working with her. The accomplice roughs himself up to convince Angela he’s dealt with the villainess, but tearing open his shirt reveals the other tattoo half that tips his would-be victim off. After she locks herself in the workshop, Carla surmises Ron is expendable, rediscovers her pistol skills, and does her double-shot execution trick.

Angela takes cover in her workshop as the leather-clad villainess shoots her way in. Time for some obligatory taunts as she searches the building. It doesn’t take long to find Angela’s rather obvious hiding place. That’s when Tim arrives, leading to a brief scuffle that ends with Carla victorious. With Angela still recovering from a knockdown, the killer shoots Tim in the chest and lines up her trademark headshot. Then it’s the wife to the rescue with a blowtorch.

Angela keeps Carla at bay with the flaming weapon, but has spent too much time welding because the gas supply runs out. The smirking villainess senses victory, but Angela surprises her by using the torch as a makeshift club. The blow sends Carla crashing through a guardrail, and the conveniently placed sculpture interrupts her fall. That sharp hand is an effective spike that skewers the villainess, and while her fingers twitch, there’s no sudden resurrection.

*Even deadlier than her mother – the aging musketeers have met their match*

Movie

The Return of the Musketeers (1989)

The third part of an unofficial trilogy, this movie follows on from the 1970s Musketeers films and has the director and most original cast members reunite. The production was overshadowed by the tragic death of Roy Kinnear, who plays hapless servant Planchet, during filming, hence the awkward rear shots of his stand-in and dubbed voice. A pity this entry gets overlooked, since its female villain is terrific.

Justine de Winter is the daughter of Milady and Rochefort, and their offspring is a mistress of deception, complemented by her expertise in swordplay. Add two unmasking scenes and many encounters with her victorious, and the result is a legendary villainess.

Twenty years after the events of The Four Musketeers (covered below), the heroes are washed out. The devious Cardinal Mazarin hires D’Artagnan, the only one still in active service, to reunite his former comrades. He finds them reluctant to join and is at odds with his old friends after an important prisoner escapes. There’s a plot to work with English rebels, and Justine has no qualms about executing royal targets.

Politics is a subplot to her personal vendetta, and despite Rochefort returning from apparent death, there’s no doubt who the main adversary is. By the end, the heroes put aside their differences, travel to England and back, and save the King of France.

Villainess

Justine de Winter (Kim Cattrall)

It takes a while for Justine to make an appearance. Disguised as a priest, she sets a trap for the headsman and confronts him with his own axe. Anyone who noticed Kim Cattrall in the credits will see through the deep voice and cloaked figure, but it’s reasonably effective.

Athos’ son Raoul (C. Thomas Howell) has a chance encounter with the assassin and chases them into the forest. He clashes blades with the fake priest and fences well until he knocks off the killer’s hat to reveal a beautiful blonde woman. Faced with a female adversary, he’s disarmed by her. Justine is after the musketeers who executed her mother and sees an opportunity after she learns who Raoul’s father is.

It isn’t too long before Justine confronts the heroes in a red cloak. Like her mother, this female assassin has a fondness for glass weapons, though she uses crossbow bolts instead of daggers. The musketeers are reluctant to fight a woman, but ditch their chivalry when they realise she can take all four at once without even any support. The villainess uses scaffolding to escape and nearly gets shot in the back until Raoul gets all noble and saves her. What happens next is on you, hero.

Distracted enough to fail, the musketeers are employed by the Queen to save King Charles I of England. Historians will know how that turns out, though probably not that the musketeers almost saved him by sidelining the headsman. Almost since the masked Justine takes over as the king slayer. An action that leaves Raoul and Rochefort shocked, but one the villainess acts casual about.

The musketeers track Justine to her hideout, which is full of traps she uses to turn the tables. A slapstick combat sequence typical of the series, with the hopeless heroes beaten many times by the agile and clever opponent. Justine escapes on a ship heading back to France. The musketeers get wise and use indirect methods to blow up the vessel and defeat Rochefort. His daughter has main villain immunity and comes away relatively unscathed.

Justine uses guile and beauty to kidnap the young King of France. The last fight takes place in a castle, with the musketeers launching a rescue attempt by balloon. This fools the inept guards, but Justine realises the threat and dons her leathers for the grand finale. In the chaotic climax, the villainess is a worthy match for D’Artagnan and his companions, though their actions force Justine to take the King hostage.

The musketeers save the boy, but Justine escapes by leaping down to a moat. Having had enough of her for one lifetime, the heroes let her ride off into the sunset.

Honourable Mentions: Three Musketeers

The classic Alexandre Dumas novel has been adapted for film many times, with various actresses starring as the villainous Milady de Winter. As one of the most rebooted tales in cinema history, there are far too many to discuss, and honourable mentions are restricted to the 1970s onwards.

The Three Musketeers (1973) – Milady de Winter (Faye Dunaway)

The first two films in the Richard Lester trilogy were shot back-to-back, with the novel adaptation split into two parts. Most humour is slapstick, and might become tiresome depending on taste. The swordplay is light enough on violence to receive a universal rating in the UK.

Milady is mostly absent from this half, and only becomes important when the dastardly cardinal hires her to seduce an English duke and steal diamonds. This is a plot to undermine the King of France, and Milady takes a back seat to Richelieu and Rochefort in the villain stakes. Once the usual story elements – such as D’Artagnan fulfilling his dream to join the Musketeers – have played out, the bumbling heroes confront their enemies.

There’s time for a comical fight between Milady and the Queen’s dressmaker Constance, but don’t get too excited. The two women chase around furniture and use whatever items are available, while the men do the real fighting elsewhere.

The Four Musketeers (1974) – Milady de Winter (Faye Dunaway)

Faye Dunaway returns in a larger role, out for revenge against the heroes for foiling her scheme. There’s a subplot about French rebels besieging La Rochelle and Richelieu using the conflict for his own ends, but the main story is the four musketeers dealing with the villainess and her lover.

Milady’s romance with Athos comes into play, revealing her murderous past. When her initial plan to seduce D’Artagnan fails – after he overhears her wicked scheme – she attacks him. The assassin is a capable sword fighter despite the hindrance of her long dress, and her poisoned glass daggers are deadly. D’Artagnan escapes, but we get a welcome action scene for the female villain.

Richelieu sends Milady to murder the English Duke, but she is captured by savages before she completes her mission. Imprisoned in the Tower of London, she charms a dim-witted sentry into releasing her and even convinces him to kill the Duke. Constance escapes a bumbling male assassin. But it’s all for nothing, since Milady disguises herself as a nun, infiltrates a convent, and strangles Constance with a rosary.

The murder enrages D’Artagnan enough that he agrees to a unanimous vote to behead the killer. Though seen at a distance, the ending is dark in tone. With the villainess dead, the stage is set for her daughter’s revenge twenty years later.

The Three Musketeers (1993) – Milady de Winter (Rebecca De Mornay)

Receiving the “and” credit usually means a brief role, and we pass the half-hour mark before the villainess makes an appearance. This is light-hearted family fare, but more serious than the Lester version. Plenty of adventure and sword fights, and Tim Curry hams it up as Cardinal Richelieu, the chief baddie plotting to assassinate the King.

Milady is a spy, and a beautiful and dangerous seductress, though sadly underused. Besides threatening Richelieu with a dagger and confronting Athos about their past, Milady plays no part in the evil scheme. The master spy is intercepted before she leaves France after a tame encounter. After that, she repents and commits suicide. Dreadful stuff for such a key character.

The Three Musketeers (2011) – Milady de Winter (Milla Jovovich)

Adapted for the video game era, the title heroes are now secret agents with multi-bladed daggers, and Milady is a double-crossing acrobatic beauty. The opening sequence plays out like an Assassin’s Creed mission, as the hooded Aramis breaks into Leonardo da Vinci’s vault to steal plans for a war machine.

Except for basic plot elements, the steampunk story bears no resemblance to the source material. This is a loud action tale, with one against many fights, giant explosions and ridiculous set pieces. Picture a raid on the Tower of London and a sky battle between two airships. That means sea vessels on balloons, by the way.

Milady is a physical foe, capable of duelling armed guards in a 17th-century dress. Besides the usual seduction and villainy, she imitates Indiana Jones by sliding through a trapped hallway. This sequence has Jovovich do her Resident Evil thing. After dealing with the rooftop sentries, the thief descends on a harness to the Queen’s private quarters. Then she somersaults through a string-based security system. They didn’t have laser beams back then, but who cares?

After such a badass setup, one hopes for an epic fight with the musketeers. That never comes, and Milady is captured and defeated too easily. She also commits suicide. Or so it seems, because she survives a long drop to the ocean and returns for the last scene to set up a nonexistent sequel.