Movie Villainess 101 Rank #51

Time to commit murder

Movie

Tick Tock (2000)

Most films in the 1990s and 2000s that featured lesbians had them be villainesses, and this twisty thriller is no exception. Tick Tock has a novel storytelling mechanic: a plot twist, time rewinds to an earlier point, and we witness events from another character’s perspective. The result is a cleverly evolving story set in Bakersfield, California.

Rachel Avery is a trophy wife to the domineering Holden (David Dukes), and her best friend and lover Carla is a scheming photographer. Initially, the theme appears to be blackmail, as Carla sets Rachel up with a guy named Travis Brewer (Linden Ashby). He demands money to keep the kinky snapshots secret, but doesn’t realise the two women are in cahoots to murder Holden and frame Travis for the crime.

Extra players are revealed through flashbacks, including a private detective whom Holden hires to follow Rachel and identify her secret lover. This is a ploy by the scheming women, who use the PI to create an alibi for Rachel while Carla commits the murder. She does the deed fully nude except for surgical gloves, which is an inventive way to keep blood off her clothes. The unusual murder weapon is an ivory tusk Rachel tricks Travis into handling.

The detective has an appointment at Holden’s place, where he’s supposed to discover the body. Rachel and Carla gloat in the restroom over successfully duping the two men. But like all brilliant plans, the diabolical murder plot comes apart in the middle act.

Villainesses

Rachel Avery (Megan Ward), Carla (Kristin Minter)

Carla is the planner and drives the most important events. Rachel is more reluctant, even though she will inherit her husband’s money. When the detective misses his intended appointment and Travis discovers Holden’s body, the fall guy cleans up the murder scene. Carla repeatedly claims, “This is even better than we planned” every time something goes wrong. And a lot does, so get ready to hear those words a lot.

Rachel and Carla have a narrow miss when they recover the corpse and get pulled over by a deputy sheriff. Rachel passes an alcohol test with Carla watching – in true smoking, femme fatale fashion – and the lovers keep the faulty trunk closed. Unfortunately for them, their joy is short-lived when they find the Avery residence occupied by Holden’s daughter Anne, who’s introduced by… another time rewind.

Rachel becomes increasingly stressed and angry as the plan falls apart. She abandons the frame-up plot when she sees Carla seduce Travis at a remote cabin. Then, an enraged Rachel knocks Travis out with a shovel. Things go downhill when Carla finds the dead body has fallen out of the trunk. Who said murder was easy?

While Rachel finds the missing cadaver, she runs into the private detective – now hired by Anne to investigate Holden’s disappearance – and he detains her. Carla comes racing to the rescue and runs down the pesky PI at high speed.

When the schemers attempt to frame Travis again, he’s ready and waiting with a revolver. Carla feigns an argument to gain the advantage, but Rachel’s patience with her co-conspirator runs out and she shoots Carla fatally in the chest. The finale has Rachel escorting the handcuffed Travis through the woods at gunpoint, only to find the gun she stole from the detective is faulty.

After a chase and struggle, Rachel bashes Travis’ head in with a shovel. However, the dying man freed himself from the handcuffs and secured her ankle to his wrist. Thus, the conniving murderess dies alone in a secluded woodland area. The epilogue features a news report that names Travis as a suspect in Rachel’s kidnapping. Months – or maybe years – later, the last shot shows undiscovered skeletal remains.

Honourable Mentions: Lesbians

Hourglass (1995) – Dara Jensen (Sofia Shinas), Kami (Colette O’Connell)

Another psycho-lesbian pairing, Dara and Kami are the highlight of this terrible thriller. C. Thomas Howell plays fashion mogul Michael Jardine (no connection to the detective from the Scottish TV series Taggart), who’s as unlikable as they come. Not good when we have to cope with his insane rants and crass attitude for the entire duration. Trust me – you’ll root for the mysterious villainess who murders everyone in his life.

The film borders on unwatchable with dull boardroom segments, difficult to follow dialogue, and bizarre sequences. This includes a house party where people dance around Jardine’s father as he sleeps on a life-support machine.

Dara is a scheming murderess skilled in martial arts, with a varied wig collection that comes in handy for her many disguises. Highlights include her sparring with Jardine in a health centre, the opening strangulation of his wife during sex at the beach, and a knife attack on a business associate. Jardine’s brother is also on Dara’s list, but that murder happens off screen.

If this antihero jerk weren’t so busy scolding his associates, he might spot the obvious killers in his midst. Assistant Kami reveals her treachery during the denouement, and Dara beats up her enemy while she taunts him about all the people she’s killed. The choreography is amateurish, but the scene is interesting enough to include as an honourable mention.

Jardine takes out Kami by throwing her off a balcony, but Dara survives, and he ends up in prison plotting revenge. Hard to feel any sympathy for the guy, so her Pyrrhic victory is welcome.

Listen (1996) – Krista Barron (Sarah Buxton)

Only one lesbian psycho this time, though any 1990s movie buff will suspect Krista for that reason alone. She’s the friend and on/off lover of Sarah Ross (Brooke Langton), a woman who enjoys listening to phone sex conversations via crossed telephone wires. Then she discovers one man she’s been eavesdropping on lives in her apartment building, and local women are being murdered. The serial killer collects earrings from the victims and could be someone in Sarah’s life.

Suspects include a sinister co-tenant named Randy Wilkes and her boyfriend, Jake Taft. Wilkes threatens Sarah after she shares her suspicions with the police, and Jake watches violent videos in a seedy screening room. He’s really into female mutilation, and waves his hands like an orchestra conductor as classical music plays for added effect. There’s also the weird apartment manager who has photos of women plastered over his bedroom wall… but he commits suicide after being falsely accused.

The finale is a double dose of fake suspect reveals and fatal shootings. Wilkes attacks Sarah and refuses to stop, even when the police show up. Then Jake acts all threatening, only for Krista to blow him away. This is part of the villainess’ frame-up plot, and she plants evidence to incriminate the dead boyfriend. With the competition all deceased, Krista now how Sarah to herself.

Compulsion (2024) – Evie (Anna-Maria Sieklucka), Diana (Charlotte Kirk)

Two dangerous women in love, while a female psycho slices up male victims. Is there a connection? Set in sunny Malta and directed by Neil Marshall (The Descent), this steamy thriller has a poor reputation, but earns an extended honourable mention for its gory murders, stylish masked killer, and an insane action-packed finale.

The opening scene sets the tone. An intruder breaks into a luxury home by climbing a drainpipe and slashes a naked man taking a shower. Dubbed the “Maltese Phantom” (get it?), the leather-clad killer in a lace hood leaves no forensic traces.

Two female neighbours come under police suspicion. Evie despises her wealthy stepfather, but is happy to live in his house with hi-tech security systems and a collection of Japanese swords. Diana befriends her to get close while she plans a heist and double-cross with her boyfriend, Reese (Zach McGowan). The opening half is slow-going and dialogue-heavy, with awkward voyeurism and uninspired erotica. Then the Phantom stabs a taxi driver who sexually harassed Evie… through the mouth with a katana.

Desperate for money, Reese gets aggressive with Diana, who stabs him with scissors. Her girlfriend enters the fray with a kitchen knife, and they attack together. A chaotic scene unfolds over five minutes, with over thirty attacks on the unarmed but resilient male. It’s almost comical as he crawls along the floor, refusing to die. When Reese finally goes down, Diana pauses for a smoke. Except he’s not dead, so the blood-drenched women continue their frenzied assault.

To dispose of the evidence, the murderers burn their clothes, strip naked, and bathe. A crude excuse for lesbian sex, and the women don’t seem worried by the brutal murder they committed. We get it: they’re psychos.

A pool attendant sees the couple dump the body, so he blackmails them. A stupid idea, and the killer slits his throat in a nightclub toilet. We learn Diana is a copycat who killed the cabbie to get Evie arrested and lure the rich stepfather to the island. Then she finds a severed female head in her fall girl’s luggage. Because Evie is the real Maltese Phantom, who wore a red wig at the club to frame Diana. Convoluted, but with two female assassins in leather, who’s complaining?

In a frantic climax, the treacherous women fight each other. Black-garbed Evie is an agile killer, dodging gun and sword attacks. She doesn’t hesitate to kill her stepfather, who chose this unfortunate moment to arrive. Diana needs his retina scan to unlock a hidden safe. Actually, she only needs his eyeball, which she cuts out. In the aftermath, crazy Evie ends up in hospital, while Diana sails off with the stolen money.

Movie Villainess 101 Rank #92

Die Hard with a killer penguin

Movie

Sudden Death (1995)

Of the many Die Hard scenario movies I’ve seen, Sudden Death is one of the craziest, but undeniably fun. The premise was unoriginal even back in the 1990s: a lone hero trapped in a building with nasty bad guys, and the only person who can save the day.

Our hero is Darren McCord, played by Jean-Claude Van Damme (a mainstream action star at the time), and the setting is a National Hockey League Stanley Cup Finals game in Pittsburgh. The Vice President is a Penguins fan, so the criminals take advantage and infiltrate the event disguised as employees. Then they occupy the VP’s box and demand he transfer vast sums of money from secret accounts before the game ends. Naturally, a dramatic late goal ties the contest and buys some much-needed sudden-death overtime.

It’s an overused storyline, but Sudden Death has set pieces on its side. Villain deaths are all suitably over the top, often involving Darren using his skills as a firefighter, a job he quit after a young girl tragically died. Makeshift weapons include a flamethrower (a water pistol filled with flammable liquid) and a dart gun fire extinguisher.

In a totally insane sequence late on, Darren dresses up as a Pittsburgh Penguins player and skates onto the rink. Heck, he even makes a dramatic save. Then, a helicopter falls vertically through the open stadium roof and explodes on the ice. But the hero’s fight against the “killer penguin” – a henchwoman in a mascot costume – is the standout scene. And despite a premature demise, I simply had to include this villainess on my ranking list.

Villainess

Carla (Faith Minton)

The actress has a wrestling and stunts background, so looks the part of the brutish henchwoman. She makes an intimidating choice and is convincing in her fight scenes, compared to the frail beauties that populate modern action films.

Other than the infamous penguin encounter, Carla doesn’t feature much. Her first two kills – the real mascot Joan (who later turns up dead in a closet) and an inquisitive woman in the women’s restroom – both occur offscreen. Darren’s daughter, Emily, stumbles across the villainess’ latest victim when she leaves her stadium seat. The terrified girl flees before Carla can silence her, only to be captured moments later.

Emily watches the sociopath villainess shoot a Secret Service agent in the head (after he understandably mistakes Carla for a guy) and put several more bullets in his chest to make sure. The terrorist has already shown she has no problem murdering a child, and only an empty pistol clip saves Emily from execution.

After Carla delivers her young hostage to the main bad guy, she’s sent after Darren. This doesn’t take long, as he’s tracked Emily to the kitchen. He’s already suspicious after finding his daughter’s discarded baseball cap, and Carla’s lies are unconvincing. With the hero alert to danger, he spots the shadow of Carla drawing a gun and disarms her.

The fight scene between Darren and the “killer penguin” lasts over three minutes for those timing it. While Carla’s choice of costume is bizarre, the padding offers substantial protection from Darren’s punches. The villainess, skilled in martial arts, lands quite a few blows of her own. Kitchens are always a great location for fights, with sharp cleavers, boiling fat, and trolleys to use as weapons. Don’t forget the tray, potato masher, and meat cutter. Did I mention this is a long fight?

Fed up with Carla shrugging off his attacks, Darren adopts the video game approach and goes for her weak spot. The hero pours spicy food into the mascot’s beak where the eyeholes are, disorienting Carla to gain the upper hand. Tough women never go down that easily, so Carla gets a great death scene when Darren kicks her onto a processing machine. The mask strap gets caught around her neck, strangling the villainess as the hero watches on.

Honourable Mentions: Van Damme Movies

Timecop (1994) – Fielding (Gloria Reuben)

This is a mainstream Van Damme movie about a time-travelling policeman, mostly set in modern times. Among the bad guys is a sole henchwoman with one decent scene and little screen time. Sarah Fielding is an internal affairs agent working with the hero. Except she isn’t, because she’s in the pocket of a corrupt US senator. Not sure why the traitor is so shocked when the lead bad guy murders someone in cold blood. Wake up – you’re expendable too.

Fielding beats up Walker in a one-sided encounter. He drops the chivalrous “won’t fight a woman” line, but knocks her down with one punch, anyway. The senator shoots Fielding once she’s outlived her usefulness, and the repentant traitor reflects in hospital before another baddie kills her.

Eventually, Walker restores the timeline, and Fielding becomes a good girl, so none of that ever happened. An honourable mention… just about.

Kill’em All (2017) – Almira (Mila Kali)

Perhaps the ultimate “one-scene wonder”, Almira is the only positive in this direct to video actioner. In an establishing flashback, the sexy female assassin poses as a prostitute and displays a fair amount of skin. The beautiful killer uses a blade-on-a-rope (disguised as a wristband) to stab a crime boss in the chest, leap over his chair, and garrote him. Not finished, Almira defeats two bodyguards hand to hand (or should that be legs to neck?).

A terrific beginning with so much promise, but what follows is terrible. Hardly any action and a silly plot with Van Damme pitted against a hit squad in a hospital, told in flashback by a nurse. The civilian supposedly has martial arts experience, but you wouldn’t know it from the badly choreographed fight scenes. Almira’s death is a lame, almost comical, strangulation.

Except the “nurse” is really an operative or assassin herself (the explanation is vague), and an unreliable narrator. The actual death scene – shown later on – has the impostor kill Almira with a far more efficient neck snap. So, a slight improvement, but not much.

Derailed (2002) – Galina Konstantin (Laura Elena Harring)

Another low-budget action flick with Van Damme (he’s made a few), this features three female villains, though only one of note. The extended honourable mention goes to the antiheroine thief who assists the good guys despite her own self-serving agenda. A stealth expert and martial artist, Galina is a far more charismatic character than this movie deserves.

Jacques Kristoff (Van Damme) is the main hero, but the female cat burglar takes centre stage during the opening credits. Between black screen title cards, we’re treated to a daring heist with the hi-tech operative deceiving guards in Slovakia and breaking into a supposedly secure facility. After three minutes of thievery clips and fancy gadget use, Galina steals a metal box marked with a biohazard symbol. It’s a while until we learn the vials contained within hold a smallpox viral strain, and before that there’s the matter of escaping the authorities.

A shady contact assigns Jacques the job of escorting Galina to Germany. Her cover is a theatrical performer, and she even pulls off a high-wire stunt to evade a small army of troops. More acrobatics follow with a light show as a backdrop, then Van Damme finally sees some action. The exit route is a train (you probably guessed that from the title). Once aboard, the sexy thief tries to seduce Jacques in the cabin, but he’s wise enough – and devoted to his wife – to refuse her advances.

The passengers soon have far greater concerns when armed mercenaries take over the train and come after Galina and her mysterious package. These are cookie-cutter villains who murder unarmed civilians to show their nastiness, led by a bland guy called Mason. Jacques and Galina escape, setting up the usual Die Hard scenario. The burglar uses more acrobatic moves to subdue a terrorist, but nothing as fantastic as the opening theft.

The lead villain has a lover accomplice called Natasha (the usual mean sadist), and after some background smirks, we get the inevitable catfight with Galina. Jacques battles a male baddie, but instead of annoying cuts between the two fights, we get a bizarre split-screen showdown. Too bad the women only exchange a few blows and it’s over in thirty seconds.

A vial shatters during a scuffle, contaminating the train. What follows is a convoluted mess with weak action, bad special effects, and passengers looking gloomy as the virus spreads. Mason kills Natasha for her incompetence (so much for love), which leaves an unnamed female terrorist for Jacques to dispose of far too easily.

The unsatisfying conclusion has Galina ill with smallpox and sidelined for the final action scenes. Van Damme, of course, saves the day and miraculously cures the passengers. As for Galina, she goes back to thievery and pulls off a (sadly low-tech) heist in the closing scene.