Movie

A Bride’s Revenge (2019)

As you’ve probably gathered, this is a Lifetime movie about… a bride seeking revenge. Technically, Lori is a former bride dumped on her wedding day after the groom, Ian, decided she was too psycho to marry. It’s no shock she goes over the edge and stalks Ian’s new fiancée Miya. While wearing a bridal gown, no less.

There are several positives that elevate this above standard Lifetime fare, enough to earn a ranking slot. The tempo remains high, and within the opening five minutes we’re treated to a cancelled wedding, a creepy mock invitation, and a knife-wielding female stalker dressed in white. The obvious suspect has an alibi for the attacks, which implies an accomplice. Since the antagonist’s face is masked by a veil and Miya works in a salon with two female assistants, both women are potential suspects.

The film’s main issues are its weak climax and finding a decent copy in the UK. Too obscure for a physical release, and while the movie has aired in the Channel 5 afternoon slot, the early screening time means censors edit out more graphical parts. For A Bride’s Revenge, this includes knife shots (but not the detective referring to the weapon!), Lori bashing her head against a mirror, and Miya getting bludgeoned with a brick. All the exciting bits. Fortunately, Johnson Production Group has uploaded an unedited version on YouTube.

Villainesses

Lori Parker (Hannah Barefoot), Caroline / Rose Parker (Kendra Carelli)

There’s no doubt who the main villain is, with Lori acting completely psycho from her first scene. She does all the crazy woman stuff required: taunting the heroine, loony-eyed stares, self-harm, and threatening her boyfriend just because. Lori somehow convinces the police Miya is insane thanks to a doppelgänger bride / accomplice. The outfit is an original take and contributes to the eerie stalking sequences. Nothing like a woman in long white gloves and a trailing dress sticking a knife into a wedding cake. Before she offs her victim, in this case Ian’s mother.

Hannah Barefoot knows what’s required for this type of movie and provides multiple insane rants to keep viewers entertained. Lori’s best moment comes at the mother’s funeral when she adds salt to Miya’s wounds and then accuses her of being unstable.

Besides the bridal gown, Lori wears a more traditional evil black outfit when she kills the family dog (!) and makes an unfriendly hospital visit to murder a patient. Enough to cause Miya’s relationship to deteriorate, but fortunately Ian sees Lori is the truly crazy one. His suspicions are confirmed when his ex-girlfriend injures herself in front of him. After Miya digs up information about a suspected arson that killed Lori’s parents. Yes, there’s a crazy backstory, like always.

It’s revealed that Lori has a sister named Rose, which explains her alibi for the earlier bride attacks. Suspicion falls on Miya’s friend Sandra after she shows off rose-tattooed fingernails, but nobody will be surprised this is a red herring. Lori’s actual sister/accomplice is the other coworker, Caroline. This all leads to a showdown at Lori’s house, where the psycho siblings capture Miya.

The finale takes place in a creepy mausoleum. Lori is suitably menacing and jealous during this encounter, demanding Ian commit suicide in front of his mother’s crypt, but the villains are both defeated easily. The accomplice is shot in the back during a struggle. And Lori? She falls down a short flight of steps and breaks her neck before reaching the bottom.

Honourable Mention: Masked Lifetime Villainesses

Ruthless Realtor (2020) – Lynette Dee (Alexandra Peters)

This Lifetime thriller also benefits from good pacing and a great masked outfit for its villainess. The psycho’s wardrobe is all black, with a creepy gas mask that resembles something from the First World War. Her attire allows for stunt double use in the opening beat-down scene. No skimping on action – it comes across as brutal.

The prime suspect is the realtor of the title: Christy Burson as Meg Atkins. It turns out she isn’t so ruthless, just a disturbed young woman set up by the actual killer, Lynette. An obvious plot twist, given that the attacker uses chemicals to kill her victims and Lynette works in a pharmacy. Plus, she seems really interested in the property her parents once lived in, and is very disappointed when Meg sells the house to another couple.

After the opening, action is sparse, but for once the police are useful. That’s no consolation to the officer guarding the property, who becomes the standard mid-film victim to ramp up tension. Maybe this guy should have been the stereotypical useless cop after all.

The ending sequence is eerie for a TV movie, as Lynette uses a sledgehammer to break down a basement wall and reveal the skeletal remains of her parents. As a bonus, we get three unmasking scenes: one real-time and two more in flashbacks. The struggle that follows the lengthy monologue is melodramatic, and the villainess is taken out a bit too easily. But nowhere near as tame a finale as Lori’s.