Movie

Fatal Reunion (2005)

I wanted my list to be as inclusive as possible, so I’ve included several Lifetime movies, with Fatal Reunion being the lowest ranked. Technically, these films are independently produced, but I’m referring to female-driven made-for-TV flicks as “Lifetime movies” because it’s a lot easier and tidier to write.

As is usual for this genre, there’s an opening murder sequence with a mysterious figure in a black hooded outfit offing some poor woman. So, nothing too original to start with. After that, we’re introduced to the main character, Jessica, played by Erika Eleniak (which satisfies the casting requirement of a well-known B-movie actress as the lead).

Jessica is unhappily married (surprise!), and believes her husband, Russell, may be cheating. So – in typical double-standard fashion – Jessica reaches out to old classmate Marcus Declan via an online reunion site. Anyone who’s ever seen a Lifetime movie will know such situations never end well, and it isn’t long before Marcus comes on to Jessica. After she rejects him, Jessica receives harassing phone calls in the middle of the night.

Fatal Reunion is a slow-burner, with hardly any interesting scenes in the first two acts. The director’s weird scene transitions don’t help. For some inexplicable reason, the camera pans off to the side, often to uninteresting background props or up towards the sky. We’re talking about almost every interlude here, which becomes flat out annoying.

Rare standout moments include Jessica pole fighting with a harsh instructor (which will obviously become important later) and finding herself on the wrong end of a loaded crossbow. Someone poisons the family dog, and the protagonist’s two children get completely forgotten about. But things pick up towards the final act, and the exciting, drawn-out climax is my main reason for ranking this movie.

Villainess

Lisa Calders / Dana Declan (Juliet Landau)

It’s not until approximately the sixty-minute mark that we’re introduced to the real killer. A brunette stranger shows up at Jessica’s house and introduces herself as Lisa Calders, an attorney from Dallas, Texas. Intelligent viewers may peg “Lisa” as the villainess from the moment she walks on screen, given we’ve never seen the stalker’s face and the newcomer’s Southern US accent is creepy enough to arouse suspicion. But Jessica and her husband Russell welcome Lisa with open arms and don’t do a background check until it’s too late.

Lisa offers to help the couple trap Marcus but advises they keep the cops out of it (a further clue something is off, in case another is needed). There are several meetings between the women, and it becomes obvious the villainess (we can stop pretending already) is drawing her victims into whatever scheme she’s cooked up. Jessica escapes a further attempt on her life, this time a hit and run by a masked driver, and goes to the police. Naturally, they don’t believe her claims and imply that the husband is responsible.

The movie climaxes in a barn when Lisa lures Jessica to a meeting. Russell, who finally figures the “lawyer” is an impostor, races to the rescue. Or that’s his plan anyway, because instead he discovers her holding Jessica and a tied-up Marcus at gunpoint. Then the villainess reveals her real identity: Dana Declan – Marcus’ wife – who doesn’t take too kindly to his perceived infidelity.

Juliet Landau is credited as Lisa Calders (her alias), probably to keep the reveal a surprise. Of course, the DVD cover gives the game away, as it shows her character wearing black gloves and holding a pistol.

The last confrontation is suitably long, with plenty of improvised weapons. With Marcus and Russell incapacitated, the two women battle it out. Jessica survives multiple strangulation attempts before she gets to put her martial arts practice to use. The heroine grabs a metal bar that happens to be lying around, deflects one blow, and impales the villainess. One of the better Lifetime death scenes – far superior to the tame resolutions that plague the modern era – which makes the tedium beforehand worth sitting through.

Honourable Mentions: Lifetime Movies

Deadly Sorority (2017) – Jubilee Swan (Chloe Babcock)

Another movie I considered, this surprisingly clever mystery thriller aired as Too Close to Kill in the UK. For once, Channel 5 made sparse edits.

The plot centres around the murder of a new sorority pledge, with many dodgy characters for prime suspect Samantha (Greer Grammer) to investigate. Some are clearly red herrings, such as the boyfriend who later winds up dead. The obvious candidate is a teaching assistant named Victor. Why? He isn’t obvious, and no evidence points to him. In 99% of TV mysteries, he would be the killer, but not this time.

Instead, a relatively obvious suspect – bitchy sorority head Jubilee – is the villainess. An impressive narrative feint implies a college professor’s wife is the murderer. The genre-savvy heroine picks up on this and escapes after throwing hot tea in the woman’s face. Sadly, the amateur sleuth’s instincts are wrong, and the actual killer reveals herself soon afterward.

The knife-wielding psycho threatens Samantha, and there’s a rather brief confrontation before police arrest the villainess, but the above-average resolution earns an honourable mention.

A Neighbor’s Deception (2017) – Cheryl Dixon (Isabella Hofmann)

2017 was a good year for TV movie endings, because we got a surprisingly exciting conclusion to what seemed a pedestrian thriller. The plot is as generic as they come: a woman romances a guy with a mysterious past, only to find her life in danger.

After a drawn-out stalk and slash scene at the beginning, main character Chloe (Ashley Bell) moves in next door to the suspicious Gerald Dixon (Tom Amandes). The heroine suffers from panic attacks – a plot device to ensure nobody will believe her later – and Gerald conveniently reveals he’s a psychiatrist. Cue inevitable warning signs, a shadowy stalker breaking into Chloe’s house, amateur detective work, and near misses with the psycho doctor.

A secondary character gives Chloe dirt on Gerald. Can you guess what happens next? The guy is killed off almost immediately with the overused backseat garrote MO. This one’s longer and more realistic than usual, but annoyingly, it’s mostly filmed with a long-distance shot. So far, so average, and you’d never suspect an exciting and violent finale was on the cards.

After Chloe learns Gerald’s wife Cheryl has mental issues, the villainess decides her nosy neighbour is a threat. The black-gloved killer attacks Chloe in her bathroom, leading to a drawn-out strangulation with multiple life attempts that goes on for several minutes. Yes, you read that correctly. Minutes, not the usual five seconds.

Eventually, Chloe frees herself only to be captured again. The heroine wakes up in a chair, restrained and forced to endure Cheryl’s insane ranting. Then, after the villainess and the slightly more sane Gerald have a violent difference of opinion, the murderess puts a plastic bag over Chloe’s head to suffocate her. Did the producers forget this is a TV movie? Eventually, the husband comes to the rescue at the last moment, and Cheryl goes down fairly easily considering what transpired before.

Killer Photo (2015) – Sarah Miller (AnnaLynne McCord)

Another so-so Lifetime movie with a good ending, this thriller (also known as Watch Your Back) earns an honourable mention thanks to an intriguing premise and a decent twist that makes sense. An elaborate prologue murder has a woman follow a trail of red heart balloons and greeting cards, only to find a mysterious assassin waiting with a silenced pistol.

Fast forward two years, and businesswoman Sarah Miller could be the next target. Viewers hoping for a killing spree will be disappointed, as the story focuses on Sarah’s relationships and dull office politics. Characters act weird just to create potential assassin candidates, and suspects include a company rival and a devoted assistant. Someone photographs Sarah and plants listening devices in her house, and it appears ex-cop Vincent Stirrup (Brent Stait) is the hitman when he leaves a mysterious package in the Millers’ letterbox.

However, appearances can be deceptive, and ultimately it’s revealed that Sarah is the hitwoman and Vincent a good guy tracking her. In retrospect, her odd behaviour – refusing to involve the police and caring more about a man’s camera than an accident victim – makes perfect sense. Scenes of the protagonist working out, handling firearms capably, and throwing darts with lethal accuracy will seem obvious hints on a repeat viewing.

The female assassin dishes out a couple of martial arts beatdowns and gains the upper hand on her cover story family. The confrontation with the husband goes the obvious way when the villainess claims he doesn’t have what it takes to squeeze the trigger. Fortunately, the assistant does, and the movie ends with Sarah receiving the same post-mortem photograph treatment she gave the opening victim.